Increasing divorce rate in India
By: - Dr.A.S.Kalra Astrologer
Major reasons or causes behind increasing divorce in India: -Whenever a wedding in Hindu religion takes place bride and groom take seven 'pheras' or seven 'parikramas' (what we can call in English language: - seven rounds or 7 circum-ambulations), these 7 'pheras' are taken around pious fire, amidst the chanting of Vedic mantras, in which specific vows are recited. Similarly in Sikh religion during a wedding, bride and groom take 4 'pheras' or rounds around 11th Guru ("Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji").
Interesting point is: - In this ritual of taking 'pheras', groom moves ahead and bride follows the groom and which is something which goes against the concept of gender equality. If the concept of "Gender Equality" has to be applied then both the bride and the groom should move together. Another interesting point is: - In spite of this ritual of taking 'pheras' or rounds in a very religious environment, many marriages in both Hindu & Sikh religions end up in a divorce!!! It simply proves that this concept of taking 'pheras' is merely a ritual and doesn't guarantees the success of a marriage.
We can look at this ritual as if we are watching a moving train on a round track. During this ritual when man moves ahead of woman it looks like a moving train having one power car and only one coach, in which man acts like a power car (engine) of the train and woman acts like that one coach. It signifies that now throughout their lives this couple of man and woman will have to move like this (man would always lead and woman will always have to follow him and which represents a male dominated mindset, which is prevalent since ages).
But nowadays when females are becoming well educated + professionally qualified and are becoming employed and also in this era in India when we hear too much about Gender Equality + Woman Empowerment and moreover when women are also aware of their legal rights... A woman should be observed no longer as coach of that train and she has also become a power car of that train. Now when there are two power cars in a train then it becomes essential that both power cars move in a harmony else the coupling would break and which would mean a divorce.
There is no concept of divorce in Hindu or Sikh religions. According to these religions once a couple gets married only death can separate them apart. Concept of 'Talaaq' came into existence in India after Muslim rule taken place & concept of divorce came after English rule took place. In past some decades divorce has started taking place even in the couples of Hindu or Sikh religions & in past two decades (since globalization has taken place) divorce rate has started increasing very rapidly in India... but its still less than 10% in India whereas in Western countries its more than 50%!!!... More the influence of western culture would come on Indian culture more will be the divorce rate in India. Success or failure of marriage also greatly depends upon the mindset of both husband and wife... In coming 2-3 decades divorce rate is bound to increase further in India and now a time is about to come when the concept of marriage will be considered as an old or outdated concept by many people and more than 50% people in India will prefer to live as single or the concept of live-in relationships will be used more, just like White people in Europe, America, Canada & Australia do.
Reason of increasing divorce in India -1: - Women becoming financially independent
One of the major reasons or cause of divorce in a country like India is: - These days females in India are getting financially independent. Earlier the females were not well educated and employed, so they had to depend upon their husband for their various needs of life after their marriage. In such cases some husbands used to torture or dominate their wives for various reasons (like demand of dowry or other) because they knew that their wives will not be able to do anything but to suffer. In such cases wives didn't have courage to go for a divorce and had no other option but to suffer for fulfilling of there basic needs of life. Also after getting married it was not easy for a woman to leave the husband and go back to parents' house due to the fear of insult in society and due to financial reasons like the father of the woman got retired from his profession and her brothers and their wives not willing to support her financially.
But in past recent years situation has changed a lot. Now the parents are showing interest in the education of their daughters and encouraging them to go for some job or some form of employment after completing education so that they don't have to depend upon their husband or anybody else for their financial needs or their livelihood after marriage. In such a case a woman can easily revolt her husband and in-laws in the case of any torture. For a woman her first husband today is her job or employment and her education. Women are becoming more aware of their rights and also the government is using media to raise the awareness level of females in many ways. We don't say that divorce is something good but if the married life is quite painful for some people then divorce can be a better option.
A note on Gender Equality: -
In India we talk about gender equality these days and quite often listen/read about it in electronic and print media. It's because it was a male dominated society since ages and females were suppressed in many ways. But from past some decades scenario has changed drastically and females are now allowed to pursue education and are allowed to make their career in whichever field they like and they are really doing exceptionally well in every field & which is good.
But still as far as gender equality is concerned then there is one big obstruction due to which it is tough to accomplish it completely. Like whenever a marriage takes place a female leaves her house (or her father's house) and enters the house of her husband (or her father-in-law's house). This custom is prevalent since ages and this is from where difference between a male and a female arises. A male doesn't leave his residence on the day of his marriage and continues to live in his residence whereas a female leaves her residence and enters the house of her husband in an order to live along with him. Now this is something which is against the concept of gender equality.
Reason of increasing divorce in India - 2: - (Interference of parents of the girl in her married life)
In many cases newly married girls are also showing impatience after their marriage in dealing with various matters in the house of their husband or in-laws ('Sasural') which leads to problem. In case of any problem they just contact their parents over phone without realizing that their parents would feel nervous due to it. In such cases sometimes their parents instead of giving them constructive advices start giving them wrong advises of going for a revolt which enhances problems in married life. Parents of some girls interfere too much in their married lives.
Reason of increasing divorce in India - 3: -
(Marriage against the wishes of man or woman)
In some cases married men or married women wants to take a divorce because the marriage was done forcefully against their wishes by their parents moreover when they wanted to marry some other person of their choice. But on the contrary to that it has also been observed that in such cases many men and women instead of thinking of a divorce plan to accept it as their fate.
Reason of increasing divorce in India - 4: -
(Mother-in-law & daughter-in-law conflict or conventional 'Saas-Bahu conflict')
One another reason behind married life problems or family life problems in countries of Indian sub continent is maladjustment between a married woman with her mother in law or/and sister in law due to which husband wife relationship also gets affected many times. Most of the newly married girls don't know how to cook food or even if she knows she doesn't finds time to do it due to her job which her mother-in-law doesn't likes & which leads to conflict. In some cases mother-in-laws develop a sense of insecurity after the marriage of their son that their daughter-in-law will snatch her son from her some day which leads to sense of insecurity in mother-in-law & she starts behaving negatively with her daughter-in-law. In some cases it has been observed that the nature of mother-in-law is also not good & she is a very short tempered or dominating lady.
In such conflicts these days usually daughter-in-law goes back to her parent's house and starts forcing her husband to start living separately from his parents as soon as possible and only then she'll come back to live along with her. In such cases if husband goes according to the wishes of his wife then the married life is saved but if he revolts his wife then married life ends in a break up. Such conditions are a big problem for many Indian men. Internally many men don't want to leave their parents in their old age but on the other hand side living along with wife and child or children who took birth from their marriage also becomes essential. In such conditions some men don't want to leave their parents because of the fear that if he leaves his parents then he would not be able to get his part in parental property so easily.
Reason of increasing divorce in India - 5: - (Misuse of IPC 498-A)
One another reason for increase in divorce rate is females lack in patience and are aware that law will favor them in case of any married life or family life problem and they take no time in approaching advocates or police or media or women's cell to complain against husband or in-laws. In many cases it has been observed that women & their parents are misusing the section 498-A of IPC (Indian Penal Code) to take revenge from her husband as well as her in-laws which is not good. False cases of dowry and torture are made to harass husband and his family.
Such girls and their parents (who internally feel that they are very aware) don't realize it that police, advocates, women's cell and media are not their well wishers and the problem could have been solved by organizing a meeting of both families and by including some mature and sensible persons from society or relatives of both families to arrive at some solution. It has been found that in the long run such girls and their parents are also harassed by policemen & advocates in various ways. Many times policemen and advocates try to take physical advantage of that girl if she is found to be living alone.
Reason of increasing divorce in India - 6: - (Conspiracy against boy & his family)
In some cases it has been observed that some parents have made it a business to marry their daughters to some boys of rich families and then immediately after marriage they make false case of dowry against boy and his family and apply for divorce so as to extract millions of rupees from boy and his family in the name of alimony. According to Dr.A.S.Kalra such girls are not better than call girls or prostitutes and their parents are similar to agents of prostitutes (pimps) who are converting their young daughters into prostitutes or call girls.
Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 7: - (Sluggish sex life)
Many married couples complain that their passion for each other after marriage has decreased now. Dr.A.S.Kalra explains it by saying that passion between a man & a woman is linked more to their physical attributes due to which they got attracted towards each other before marriage & decided to marry though their attraction wasn't purely physical as it also comprised of emotional attachment. Youngsters term this passion as true love & before marriage they feel that they'll not be able to live without each other.
It was not true love but a passion which originated due to their physical attributes. There is nothing like such true love in this world as more than half of this world is madly in search of true love from some person of opposite sex but can't find it in a life time. After getting married many couples start feeling bore of each other's bodies & its just like if you start eating same type of food every day then eventually you'll get bore due to it & you'll want change. It's just like a man purchases clothes of various types and various colors to have a different taste at different times. Some rich people change their car every 6 months or every year to have taste of new one. But it may be easy for a person to change food, clothes, car & house but not that easy to change life partner!
Some married men & women are found to be involved in post-marital affairs these days and moreover when many of them had a love marriage. It's because they are not happy in their married life due to some reason like not feeling sexually satisfied from their life partner. It is also observed sometimes that in a married couple husband was found to be involved in a post marital love affair & after some time his wife also begins her post marital love affair with some another man just to take revenge from her husband or to satisfy her needs.
In some cases it has been observed that some couples have a sluggish sex lives due to some malfunctioning in sex organs of either of the two or both. In such cases some medical advice can prove to be of some help.
But on the contrary to all this it has also been found out that many fortunate married couples enjoy an active sex life till their old age without feeling bore of each others bodies. It has also been observed that some couples in which either one of the two or both of the two are not that good looking are very much happy in their married lives!
According to Dr.A.S.Kalra, marriage is not all about physical relation or sex. Even if a couple is not enjoying an active sex life they should not think about divorce because they should realize that at least if they continue living together they can cooperate each other in good and bad times of their lives as their parents have entered in their old age now and after some time their parents will have to leave this world. So who will be cooperating them in their good and bad times? At least they can live together as good companions or good friends.
Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 8: - (Fun loving generation)
Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 9: - (Adultery)
Reason of increasing divorce in India or World - 10: - (Misconception that second or third marriage would bring more happiness in life)